Log in

The Slacker Diaries [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Wheeeeee! [Nov. 18th, 2005|09:57 pm]
[mood |ditzyditzy]

Happy birthday, Lexy!

May all your wishes come true, except one, so you`d always have something to strive for, :-)

Now, everyone go to alexia47 and congratulate Lexy, because she is Awesome.
link2 comments|post comment

Online Jokes! [Apr. 8th, 2005|05:09 pm]
[mood |crazycrazy]

Joke #1:

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."


Joke #2:

Capitalism for Dummies

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

Italian Capitalism: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

British Capitalism: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Arkansas Capitalism: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

Swiss Capitalism: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Irish Capitalism: You have two cows. You feed them potatoes and wonder why they emigrate.

 Cuban Capitalism: You have two cows. They try to swim to Florida.

Politically Correct Capitalism: You are associated with two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Microsoft Capitalism: You have two cows. You patent them and sue anyone else who has them.

Iraqi Capitalism: You have two cows. They are biochemical weapons.

Cambodian Capitalism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Mormon Capitalism: You have two cows. You tell everyone that they should as well.

Totalitarian Capitalism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Real Capitalism: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.



link5 comments|post comment

LJ Sitcom [Jun. 9th, 2004|04:30 am]
[mood |bouncybouncy]

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Being nic_corelli (SHOWTIME, 1:00): nic_corelli (Katharine Hepburn) cheats on a test, and f_f_opium (David Cassidy) finds out. That same day, saar_chasm (Patty Duke) takes commodore_zeke (Jimmy Smits)'s aunt on a date and ends up necking. Soon afterwards, mendax (Joe Rogan) draws a picture on deadspeaker (Rita Hayworth)'s forehead. Afterwards, scootermark (Buster Keaton) and nahtmmm (Jon Voight) don't believe in planetary motion. At the same time, ladykatyjane (Jayne Mansfield) paints winterbourne1:news (Ralph Fiennes)'s wedding photo orange. (Part 1 of 2.)
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

Heheheh... 1:00 on Showtime. It must be racy as hell, ;-)
link3 comments|post comment

Salt sticks can be hazardous to your environment [May. 1st, 2004|07:24 am]
[mood |gigglygiggly]

Heh. Funny story.

I was visiting my friend on the other side of the town. When I was leaving, he was standing in the hallway just outside his apartment and waving at me. He then went into his apartment... and soon started running out in the hallway towards me. He came up to me and gave me my packet of salt sticks, which I apparently forgot in his apartment.

Then... his apartment door slammed shut. And he was in the hallway with me. Without the apartment key... With boiling soup in his kitchen... ;-)

I know, it`s not funny... (OK, not from HIS point of view). Heheh (yes, I know. I`m evil.) He started screaming: "AAAAH, I have no way of entering my apartment now!" I asked if someone has a spare key of his apartment, he said a friend has, but he has no way of calling that friend, since his cellphone is also locked in the apartment. Fortunately, *I* had a cellphone (Kierlan spectacularly rushes to the rescue). I gave it to him, he called his friend, who could only arrive in 45 minutes... and the soup is boiling on the stowe... ;)

So, we were sitting in the hallway and waiting for a friend of his. All because of the salt sticks, :-) And what`s even more ironic... I had another packet of salt sticks with me... So while we were waiting, we were eating the salt sticks... Sick irony, indeed...

Finally, his friend arrived and unlocked the apartment door. Fortunately, the soup didn`t burn down the apartment.

See how something tiny and innocent like *salt sticks* can be so extremely dangerous? ;-) (and I just started thinking how boring my life became...)

From now on, I will eat them immediately after I buy them. (I buy them frequently, now that I live alone they represent my lunch). That way they will be less hazardous to the innocent people around me, :-)
link3 comments|post comment

Rosmalen [Apr. 17th, 2004|04:50 am]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |Save the Last Cheese for Me... ;-))]

I`m ripping off 17 yet again...

Th`Slacker`s DS9 Quote of the Day

"You see, I have a dream. A dream that one day all people - human, Jem'Hadar, Ferengi, Cardassians - will stand together in peace.....around my Dabo tables." ~ Quark

On an unrelated note, I have never been this disorganized. I blame the rain. The sun usually powers me up. But the rain has been bloody persistent this last couple of weeks... I had to throw my umbrella in the trash, it fell apart due to excessive use! Oh yes! Imagine how much it has been raining then!

And every time I try studying History of the Ancient Middle East, I almost fall asleep. I`m stuck on Akkadians for a week already, damn... ;)

The cat is jealous of the vacuum cleaner. She thinks it`s my new pet. It does look like a weird blue animal, with a big tail. She carefully sniffs it, either she`s making sure it`s not hostile or she`s hungry again... The cat food will be the reason of my bankruptcy, oh yes...
linkpost comment

Akureyri [Apr. 9th, 2004|08:11 am]
[mood |crazycrazy]
[music |Carmina Burana!]

So...the number of 5MV Forumgoers who have their LJs is now 13! Oh yes! And that`s including Sa`ar, bwahah! ;-) There were only two or three a couple of weeks ago, but now... 13! Thanks to the Evil Alliance of Cat, 17 and me...

Funny stuff... I heard some people on 5MV ask about LJs: "But what`s the point?" Mwahaha... Point? What point? Why should there be any "point"...?

There are still those who resist LJs. But they will not last long. There is no chance against The Union of the Three Towers (insane ones, I might add). Just ask Squeakybobo the Lemming of DOOM! :-))

All will love LJ and despair! Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!
link6 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Apr. 7th, 2004|09:14 am]
[mood |deviousdevious]
[music |Lotsa things, Cyndi Lauper, Roxette, Fool`s Garden...]

Bwahahah! The Evil Legion of Bloggers is increasing, and will soon become a Massive Army, ready to take over Middle Earth! It`s so lovely to see so many people from 5MV getting themselves LJs... Scooter, Katy Jane... Sa`ar! But really, Sa`ar, easy on that pink colour! :-D

Anyway, what`s with me? I haven`t been posting much... I forgot! What was happening... the cat trying to eat electronic devices, as usual, nothing going the way it`s planned... watching some movies in cinema, woohoo... ;)

Sent a letter/package/warhead to Sa`ar because he said it was urgent, he`s moving and stuff, will send to 17 today. Spent hours... and hours... and hours... on IRC, 5MV channel. And all these years (one, actually) I thought *the Forums* were completely crazy... ;)
link4 comments|post comment

Greifswald [Mar. 31st, 2004|03:20 am]
[mood |accomplished]

The apartment was a mess.

I cleaned it up.

link2 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Mar. 27th, 2004|03:06 am]
Have defeated the common cold! Nipped it in the bud. Before it turned into something worse. I was having a really big headache, but then hectoliters of lemon tea and Aspirin+Vitamin C helped a lot, :) Now I feel great!

Oddity (the cat) tried to scratch the cellphone. She really never gives up... Then she was running around the apartment and crashed in the wall. Silly beast, ;)
linkpost comment

Valur [Mar. 26th, 2004|04:32 am]
[mood |bouncybouncy]

Sigh... the cat has assaulted the cellphone for the second time. Apparently, she won`t stop until it`s destroyed...

Watched the three-episode DS9 marathon. Romulan fleet decloaking... is there anything cooler? :-)

Practically finished assembling all the stuff for June`s letter/package. Next victim - Steve! ;)
link6 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]